Life is a rotation until you decide to jump out of the neverending cycle

10:52 pm - Just do it!

HEY WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:

» I committed suicide:

» I said I liked you:

» I kissed you:

» I were drunk around you:

» I lived next door to you:

» I started on a downward spiral of drugs & alcohol:

» I was hospitalized:

» I ran away from home:

» I got into a fight and you weren't there(i would kick ass):


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:

» Personality:

» Eyes:

» Face:

» Hair:

» Clothes:

» Manners:

» Body

[1] Who are you?

[2] Are we friends?

[3] When and how did we meet?

[4] Have I affected you?

[5] What do you think of me?

[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?

[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?

[8] Do you love me?

[9] Have I ever hurt you?

[10] Would you hug me?

[11] Would you kiss me?

[12] Would you make love to me?

[13] Are we close?

[14] Emotionally, what stands out?

[15] Do you wish I was cooler?

[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I? how hot?

[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

[18] Am I lovable?

[19] How long have you known me?

[20] Describe me in one word.

[21] What was your first impression?

[22] Do you still think that way about me now?

[23] What do you think my weakness is?

[24] Do you think I'll get married?

[25] What about me makes you happy?

[26] What about me makes you sad?

[27] What reminds you of me?

[28] What's something you would change about me?

[29] How well do you know me?

[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

[31] Do you think I would ever kill someone?

[32] Do you ever think about me? How often?

[33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?

10:39 pm

I have a dance competition this weekend at Spartanburg Auditorium and I would love for anybody and everybody to come. It starts Saturday Morning at 9:00am but I don't dance till around 11ish so if you got there at 10:30 that'd be great. It's free and it's laid back so if you want to get up (not while someone is on stage dancing) that's okay. And you can leave and get food and then come back. but anyways. It last till 8:00 that night but you don't have to stay the whole time but it'd be great to see some of y'all there. My favorite dance is actually around 6:00 that night. But I know none of ya'll want to stay all day but you could always leave and come back. But it's a lot of fun so come if you can. Remember it's free!! Love ya'll

04:28 pm

When it rains or it shines on this pillow of mine
I will lift up my head to the sky
so I have a chance to see where my hope has come from
Know there's nothing that i can't abide

When nothing satisfies you
Hold My Hand

Send forth your light Lord,
and send forth your truth
Let them guide me to Your holy place
then will I go to the alter of God
to my joy, my delight, and my strength

When nothing satisfies you
Hold My Hand

Why are you so downcast, O, my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God
My Savior, My King
My Savior, My King

When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
When nothing satisfies you
Hold my hand

When you're so disgusted with this world
Hold My hand

Current Mood: satisfied

07:47 pm

Dance has taken over my life. But I love it so much. I absolutely love it.

I can't stand to sit here and watch what you're doing to yourself. It breaks my heart everytime I look at you. Why do you choose the path you walk down?

A way may seem right to man. But it's end is the way of death. Prov. ?:?

04:22 pm - As I sit here stuffing my face with Kettle Corn...

Ecclesiates 4:12 A cord of three strands is not easily broken

I believe I took this verse out of context and I apologize for that. I really think it's talking about two friends and God. So sorry that I used it in the wrong way. (JF, this is for you and me.)

But it could be a cord of four strands is not easily broken.

Lord, help me keep my big mouth shut.

08:35 pm

Sarah, you're AMAZING!!!!

You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again. Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall, all you've got to do is call and I'll be there. You've Got a Friend.
-James Taylor

04:21 pm - I wish I could be there...

It seems like I can't come up with the right words to comfort people. There's so many things I want to say but I don't know what to say or how to express what I feel. Lord, somehow I know it's going to all be okay. Shower your love and your peace. I want you to use me. Break me now so I can be strong... I don't know. Like I said I have things I want to say but don't know how. Luckily, God knows my heart so I don't have to try to come up with the words.

I don't want to cry every weekend. I now dread Fridays.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38

09:37 pm - SO BORED

I'm sitting at home on a Saturday night at 9:30 (9:37 to be exact) because Vanessa is in Clemson, Andrew is in Georgia, Sarah won't answer her phone-you crazy girl- and Ford and Michael are in Clemson and no one else can drive. And I'm sitting here alone too. I'm kinda scared. I don't like it. And my parents won't get home till like 12:30. ahhhhhhhh. I wish i was at a sleepover.
So I feel like I can't move. My feet just hurt from all the blisters and bruises on them and if anyone touches my knees I promise I will slap you because they are bruised because i spend half of the dance on the floor rolling around and after you do it 10 million times you want to die.

Talking to Andrew on the phone now so can't really write more.

11:24 pm

So I did make that dance choreagraphy thingy I had to audition for. So I danced for three hours and I was sweaty, tired, my muscles were shaking, and my toes bleeding. So if you think dance isn't hard come with me tomorrow where I have to dance for another 3 1/2 hours. I get to roll around on the floor a lot which I don't like and can't do at the moment. So I'm working hard on that. This year's going to be hard for me in the way that I'm basically going to be living with these girls all year because i spend most of my time at the dance studio, and they're great girls and i love them but you start to adapt others habits when you're around them so much. My challenge is going to be at dance this year not at school. So ya'll please be praying for me. Pray it's not only about dancing but it's about being an example of God's love to these girls.

"So Let them be like the sun when it comes out in full." Judges maybe. But isn't that awesome. We're supposed to shine so brightly.

10:35 pm - Sarah Mack is my hero!!!

Sarah wrote me the most amazing note in the world today that convicted me so much but yet encouraged me at the same time. It's very rare to get a letter like that. And it was during a time when I really needed. I would have cried when I read it except I was in AP US HIstory. I was (kinda still am) going through a time where I was on a mountain top and in the back of my mind thought I could do everything by myself which isn't true because I mess up all the time. But I knew I needed God to break me of my "authority".

God also used Vanessa to convict me of something else i need to get out of my life. So now I've really got to discipline myself to get that out of my life which is going to be hard. bUt I can do it because I have Jesus perseverance and I have not yet suffered to the point of shedding blood. (Heb. 12)

Tomorrow night I have to audition for dance choreagraphy. I hope I make it!

I feel like this entry was pointless and like lately I don't have anything very worthwhile to say. So sorry for writing this.
Sarah I still love you and you will always be my hero. So this entry is basically dedicated to you. (Cuz you're the only thing worthwhile to write about. haha)

07:20 pm - HOPE

What is hope?
To want? to desire?
To expect that what's envisioned may indeed happen?

Yes, to all of the above.

Is hope that gut feeling that it's worth holding out
and hanging on for just a little longer?

Absolutely.

Is hope the core of the human condition?

Certainly.

Can you have hope without faith and humility and wonder?

That's tough.

Just the thought that there's something bigger,
something truer, something totally surprising out there
waiting for us is... priceless.

What would you be without hope growing deep in your bones,
thriving in every inch of you?

Nothing.

What does it take to hope?

Everything.

08:00 pm

Have you ever wanted...
to be someone else,
to be someone?

Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams?

Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems?

Have you ever wanted...
to reach up and touch the sky,
to back it up and say goodbye?

Have you ever wanted...
someone who cared,
someone to be there?

I have tasted of love so wide that it stops all my time.
I have tasted of love so deep that it blows my mind.

He is sweet. What you're looking for is my sweet, sweet Jesus.


A Cord of three strands is not easily broken. Ecc. 4:12
Nessa and Andrew, I love you. It hasn't been easy but it's so much better when you have someone looking out for you and someone to pick you up when you've fallen.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Ps. 34:18

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. Phil. 3:13

No words, just feelings.

I want to fall in love with my Savior. I want to walk with him side by side, hand in hand.

I wish I could change things. But since I can't, let's go from here.

07:42 pm

haha. that acrostic is funny. yes, i'm definetly haunting. at least mine didn't say masculine like someone i know.

06:22 pm - ME!

02:00 am

I can't, I can't, I can't

On a happier note from earlier. Sleepovers are awesome. Complete with Mary-Kate and Ashley movies and conversations about boys and farting and "scary stories."

The crying is over, let the laughter begin.

IHOP trips begin @ 8:30. Hopefully we won't get lost as in previous road trips.

Current Mood: giddy

10:58 pm - Why?????!!!!!!!!!

Why? I don't understand. Why would you do that after all that you've become? You have no idea how I've been sitting here weeping for you and pouring my heart out to God. I am so worried about you. My eyes are swollen and my nose stuffed up from crying. I love you so much and just don't understand. Why won't you just call me???? Why?

10:51 pm

Andrew, I love you and am so thankful for how strong and awesome our friendship has become. Thank you for being open with me and letting me be open with you. You're constantly on my heart and I pray for you daily. Know that my home is always open to you when you need a refuge and plans are always open to spend time with you.
God is going to teach you so much this year. Open up your heart and desire him. Ask him to open your eyes so you can see that this world is meaningless and want to leave it behind. Be strong and know that God has set you apart to be Holy.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Prov. ?

09:20 pm - Meaningless

"So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grevious to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Ecc. 2:17

"Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter." Prov. 24:11- The thing that's constantly on my mind.

I realized how weak I am. I feel so lonely in this world. And I realized how pitiful it is that I rely on humans to make me happy. Only God can make me happy so why do I weep over this loneliness in my heart.

I'm tired of worrying. I wish people would stop lying to me. Just tell me the truth. I'm not going to think less of you. I love you too much.
Choose God and stop desiring to chase after this world. I hate worrying about you every weekend. Fall in love with God and let him teach you. give it up for him. "'Come now, I will test you with pleasure to find out what is good'. But that also proved to be meaningless. 'Laughter is foolish' and what does pleasure accomplish... Utterly meaningless. everything is meaningless."

04:06 pm - Interesting Lunch TableTime

Yay! for lunchroom conversations.
Topic of the Day: Ex-boyfriends and girlfriends. We're talking about way back in fifth through eigth grade. Oh yes, the good years. The years when you dumped your ex online or the mother called and did it. or you dump them because of peer pressure. Or the times when you have two girlfriends at once... (cough) Ford Simmons.
Sorry you missed it Lynsey. You should have sat down with us.



Ford if you get mad at me for this entry I apologize. It's really funny and you know it.

10:06 pm

Happy Birthday Kim!!!!!! I love you!!!  a few hours early